I fear my fear. Why is it so?

Why is it so?

When expectations seem to obey and dreams follow the intentions, then an unexpected, an unwelcomed fear develops and takes a corner in the room of happiness.

When someone touches my heart so much so that i get bound to them, then suddenly from somewhere the breeze of separation wipes that smile off.

When heights seem closer, destinations are no more blurred, then the fear of slipping, the fear of falling haunts me.

It feels like a vacuum, with minimal friction and no gravity.

Why is not everything permanent in this universe?

Why isn’t so?

Someone will have to leave one day,

Happy phases will transform someday,

The loneliness, the silence has to retake once again.

Why is it so?

When crowds seem to make me laugh,f94cef5b93f249d6f3baf86ca9b01eb8

When a group of people seem to be a family,

When people are there all around to help me,

To cheer me up;

To console me; to be my hand in solving problems;

To motivate me;

To make me laugh; to be a reason behind my smile;

To keep me occupied;

To make me forget the 24 hours of the day;

To make me love my life;

To make me cherish every moment;

To wipe my tears off;

In essence making me laugh out loud,

And when those people become my habit,

And i get used to them,

When things seem to be sorted out,

Then, why that fear of loosing everything and again being alone runs up my nerves?

Why do I need to teach my pupil every single second to adjust according to the light of life?

Why that fear dries my throat?

Why does that blurs my vision?

Why is it a leach sucking my blood?

Why does that create a hustle in the synced cells of my mind?

I fear those streets of silence!

I fear my fear of losing.34eda8bad40e1dcd2cc9bd7b9ee38ec3

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Condition Of A Heart : a mystery unsolved

‘She, who was an old customer of a store named ‘ The Conditions Of The Heart ‘
(Whose sole purpose was to sell the conditions in the form of puzzles to be solved by the freaks). And She being a regular one was like used to these riddles! These were her favorite drink as a chameleon changing color with every new one to solve, with every new condition of love the heart became an intentional victim of.1f474a9b96110a6406c6751ae1170cd6
She shared a special bond with a common character Mr. The heart, who being mischievously notorious became a reason behind the love matters being the riddles!
She a fluent reader of heart was now almost like 10 riddles old and had played cupid solving these matters of heart;Solving these matters of love. Solving these conditions of heart!

Mr. Heart had now become her best friend almost accepting the fact that he would never be able to win in deceiving the mystery of the riddles as long as she was a customer, that too an experienced, old, regular customer. However, he being notorious made his last try and played a game on her!

He painted a riddle on ‘her’ heart.

Now that the game was on her, the riddle seemed extremely interesting. It being her final test if she could solve the love mystery of her own heart! If she could help heal the condition of her own heart! If she could solve the riddle on her own heart!

One who played a cupid in unfolding the mysteries of everyone’s heart, one who was strong enough a sage giving advises for matters of various hearts was now. . . a lame, deaf, blind, sick student who could not actually interpret her own situation. . .
Such the riddle was!
Such her confusion was!9369efbb41d85007d278a450ade5315a
Such the intentional love was!
And such the matter of heart was!
Vise a sage for others, but still a dumb student for herself, she needed someone to aid the very condition of her heart, which by now had drowned itself almost deep inside a dense ocean of love.
Indeed, an intentional love!
She could have,
better say might have,
somehow solved the riddle by gradually overcoming her dumbness
But her love again was caged by the humidity of time!
Limited the time was!
Scarced her wits were!
Do or die scenario it was!
If someone could have helped her confess her love;
Guess what!
Then it was a mystery solved!
It was a heart healed!
It was a test not failed!
But what if her dumbness over-weighed an ally’s help?!
Then it was a mystery uncovered!
It was a riddle unsolved!
It was a riddle unsolved!

Agony Of Betrayal

Game of the deceiving life is such,299d5b25cf5f94a47fd6016fd4ff59f0

A man walking all alone on a deserted footpath into a dark lane, keeps walking, walks a distance, walks few steps more and gradually covers a mile.

He walks absolutely alone, all about himself with none to hold his hand. He puts his hand in the  pocket and continues walking.

On covering miles, accidentally he comes across another man of his kind. He finds a similarity, as finally he found someone just like him.

Calls him his friend!

Now there was someone to hold his hand. The walk continued…

Continued. . .550f325b4daf47370211dd4c6da80d92

Peace. . .

Friendship. . .

That loudness of the joint laugh, those dishes with a shared food in them, two feet on the footpath doubled to four gave a lonesome a partner.

But life never stops playing. . . The deceiving life is such that a man can’t bear the change. Unexpectedly destiny turns the tables all over. . .

Holded hand again went into the air and now even the pocket felt helpless.

Weight of lifting the hand towards pocket felt extremely heavy.

An unbearable pain it was. Pain of a betrayal and that too because of  a dear one. . .

The hand left in the air, struggling to reach the very pocket made the heart cry.

Heart cries. . .

. . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

” If a spark begins to flare, then rain douse it out,c717f05ebb46bc38367551d1452b6b31

But if the rain is the one setting fire, who shall douse it?

When autumn uproots a garden, spring  makes that garden bloom

But the garden that withers in spring, who shall make it bloom?

Don’t ask me how the temple of (my) dreams crumbled,

This doesn’t concern the public, it’s the tale of ones dear to heart.

When some enemy causes a wound, then a friend heals it,

But if the close friend is the one inflicting a wound,

Who shall help heal?

There’s no saying what would have happened,

Or what would have I done.

I drink  so I’m alive,

If I didn’t drink. . . I’d die.

When the world makes you thirsty,

Wine quenches the thirsty.

The thirst wine awakens,

Who shall douse it?

I admit,

There’s a little one can do against the storm,

But this is not the fault of waves,

It’s the fault of someone’s else.

A boat caught midseas is steered to safety by oarsman,

But the boat that oarsman sinks,

Who shall save it? ”

(A translation to bollywood song- Chingari koi bhadke)